Crash and Burn

Was really frustrated yesterday when i tried putting sitemeter up on the blog. Sitemeter has this auto insertion which did not work because of the changes i made earlier, sitemeter not only failed to successfully insert, it screwed my whole template, so i had to redo the blog over again :(

Anyway, things are back to normal, and now i'm wiser (kept a backup of my template liao). Kastaway was so kind, he offered to help me with my blog problem during his off day tomorrow :O so touched by his gesture. But redoing the blog is simple, i'm going to keep his offer for something much tougher *evil grin*

Was feeling rathered depress earlier today, with the stress of work, diet and workout, i was feeling so sick and tired of everything. I got too many deadlines at work, and shit is still piling up. I was sick of not being able to eat, on this diet, rice, pasta, bread, flour, sugar, noodles, fries. Sick of the thought that the post diet diet i mentioned earlier is just as crappy. Sick of having to stick to a 6-times a week trip to the gym or pool. I decided i was feeling depressed when in the middle of the afternoon, i wanted to light a cigarette, something i have not done for over a year.

Evening came and time to head off to the gym, i refused to but the voice in my head made me go. Lousy workout because my heart's not in it, felt weak, hungry and sickly, decided to leave early. Driving back, i was analysing my situation and thought the best thing i can do now is to get off my diet and workout schedule and go on a short holiday to help me out of this depressed state. Then it dawned on me, i was depressed because my sub-conscious was trying to get me off my diet, it was a plot, a clever one at that. But fortunately (or unfortunately) for me, my conscious mind was able to pick that up. I know this sounds weird and no, i don't suffer from schizophrenia (shut up shut up, leave me alone i'm trying to type something here..... *just kidding*) but once i identified what my mind was trying to do, i countered it with positive thoughts and the depression disappered.

Anyway, i'll have to monitor this over the next few days though, my rational mind tells me i need to remain sane throughout all this :)