A Crack in the Camel's Back

The final straw that broke this camel's back has not materialise yet, but this camel has a cracked back and thinks he should take pre-emptive measures to prevent an actual break. Have not been able to log into my blog since last night. Went to bed early and surprise surprise, woke up early. And i still could not log in, WTF?!?! Not only that, i had my Angelfire account suspended a couple of days back as well. Fortunately i had 2 accounts which is why the music here plays on.

The inevitable has arrived, i'm jumping ship. For those of you who did not chance upon this site through Live Journal, i apologise for the inconvenience and have to direct you to my account there. May be temporary, may be permanent, nobody knows what the future holds right

www.livejournal.com/users/tckl/

Anyway, before i leave, i'd like to leave here with my final post.

Had an absolutely terrible day at work yesterday, a big presentation which was 2 days in the making. The rush was blinding, the type where emails go unread for days, phone rings ignored, problems diverted to others, begging others for help etc. My colleague from another section who was presenting together with me, commented "you like got a lot to present like that" and i hinted to him that our boss was out to get me. On hindsight, i know it may not be true but it certainly felt like it. He got me to present on Mr Honeymoon in Paris' stuff as well.

Being busy was also good to some extent, made me too busy to think about my previous post below. Reflected on it during lunch time though, never in my life would i have imagined lunch time to be a sad event, haha. But i think i am coping well, or as well as any feeling human could. What else can you expect from the King of Swish.

As part of the healing process, i want to share this song currently playing, its so poignant


IN MY DREAMS by REO Speedwagon

There was a time some time ago
When every sunrise meant a sunny day, oh a sunny day
But now when the morning light shines in
It only disturbs the dreamland where I lay, oh where I lay
I used to thank the lord when I’d wake
For life and love and the golden sky above me
But now I pray the stars will go on shinin’, you see in my dreams you love me

Daybreak is a joyful time
Just listen to the songbird harmonies, oh the harmonies
But I wish the dawn would never come
I wish there was silence in the trees, oh the trees
If only I could stay asleep, at least I could pretend you’re thinkin’ of me
’cause nighttime is the one time I am happy, you see in my dreams

Chorus:
We climb and climb and at the top we fly
Let the world go on below us, we are lost in time
And I don’t know really what it means
All I know is that you love me, in my dreams

I keep hopin’ one day I’ll awaken, and somehow she’ll be lying by my side
And as I wonder if the dawn is really breakin’
She touches me and suddenly I’m alive

It Takes Two Hands to Clap

Thought of the Day: It takes two hands to clap, but only one to swish

My shameless flirting in recent days has borne fruit. For those of you who have been regular readers here, you may know that i have this thing for Kevin. For the second time, he subtlely hinted how he wasn't ready to enter any relationship. So i decided to clear the air on the matter, and asked him directly if he was trying to hint something to me and he said yes. He does not want to lead me on and he sees potential in our friendship and this is not the correct time for him.

Having given advice to so many of my friends on relationship issues it sure feels different standing on the other side of the fence. Not having been in a situation where i felt special about that certain someone has probably made me a "numbass" to emotions. Which i guess is why i can dish out emotionally neutral advice. But alas, the emotional element is more powerful than i had given it credit for.

I'm feeling disappointed, surely, but i think i shouldn't show it too much because it will make him feel bad.... awwww, that's so sweet of him. Which is what makes him so special, together with his intellect (he makes me feel pleasantly stupid sometimes) and how he laughs at my jokes.

Anyway, i'm so glad that the air is cleared and i know where i stand. Erm.... perhaps i know where i stand now, but the future's still open.

Who knows when or where
Our time is gonna come
I only know that I care to live each day like this
With a kiss and I promise I’m not going
Anywhere

Diet Summary for Aliferiel

Whoa… I’m having a terrible day and there is no end in site yet :(

Suffered a temporary brain shut down before lunch and vegetated on my chair until my colleague asked me if i'm alright... anyway, suffering from one now so i'll briefly outline my diet in response to aliferiel query

In February this year i decided to go on the Atkins Diet and that as you know is a low carb diet. I kept away from rice, noodles, pasta, flour, starch etc including SUGAR!!! So essentially i ate vegetables and meat. A typical day would be sausages/ham/cheese/eggs for breakfast, low carb bread (bread mix from GNC) for tea, salad and steak/fish/pork/chicken for lunch, tofu/eggs/cheese/low carb protein bar for tea then dinner i'll usually have a some meat fried with some veges. I'll also take a daily multi-vit tablet to ensure that my vitamins and minerals are supplemented.

This diet is so damn boring because the variety is rather limited as you can imagine. No, i stand corrected, it is not boring but i kept craving for my prata, char kueh teow, chicken rice, chai tao keuh etc

To compliment the diet, i do cardio exercises 5 to 6 times weekly... except when i am unwell then i will have to skip... i will bitch about that but deep down i am just happy happy happy for the break, haha

After 2 months and 13 kgs later, i stopped the diet and tried to maintain my weight without success. I was on hydroxycut for 10 weeks without success. Skipped dinner most of the time without results. After gaining about 7 to 8 kgs back, i decided to go back on the diet 3 months back. This time around, i was not as strict as before and allowed myself to eat out during lunch instead of bringing food from home. After 2.5 months and almost 10 kgs later, i have stopped my 2nd diet and am now on a supposed low calorie diet instead.

Since February till now, the gym schedule has been consistent throughout.

So far not much side effects from the low carb diet except for the carb withdrawal in the first few days of the diet where i will get headaches and lethargy. The diet also causes bad breath and constipation. When i first started in Feb, i followed their recommended vege intake but during the 2nd round i threw that out the window so bowel movement is better. That's about it i guess, unless you have any other questions :)

The New SAFRA Gym

O....M....G.... I weighed myself for the 2nd time into my 5 day old diet and i'm still losing weight despite the crap i have been stuffing into my face the past week. So pleased :) My initial expectations was that i'll put on 2 to 3 kgs in the initial part, like what happened after my 1st diet. A few days ago, i checked that my weight was 1kg up from last weekend. By today, i already lost that 1kg and a bit more on top of that. OK, stay calm... don't get too excited, deep breathes.

Had to pick up something near Telok Blangah so decided to visit the spanking new SAFRA Bukit Merah (??) or they call it SAFRA Telok Blangah, or Mt Faber??? Whatever. First thing that i hated, it is glass walls all around. Oh no, so Cali gym wannabe. Went in and to my horror, it was about the same size as the old gym (as if that was not small enough) but the difference now is they added more machines so the place was so cramped :(

And yesterday being their 3rd day of operation, the population of gym-goers has tripled from a usually less than 10 crowd to yesterday's more than 20 crowd. Then with the crampiness, there is like no place for you to "hang out" its like you have to be at a certain spot to do certain thing or else clear off.... that type of feeling lor. BLEAH, so disappointing. And the changing room only has 2 tiny benches, down from the 3 they used to have >:(

ok, ok, on the plus side the swimming pool was just next to the side door so if the glasses don't fog up too much, you can actually see if got any action happening there or not :P will go swimming there one fine afternoon.

When i went to take my shower, i stepped into a shower cubicle, hung up my towel, proceeded to the shower tap and instinctly looked up at the shower head. WTF??? Where's the shower head?!?! Don't tell me this cubicle still not ready yet. Then i looked overhead, OMG, the shower head is those large overhead types that give you the rain effect, machiam like those used in spas or something. Oo oo, must try! must try! so i turned it on and i was like chey.... no big deal what, ok lah, maybe i don't need to spin around anymore but if i don't spin around then how i know got people peeping or not, haha.

One problem with their showers though, it is installed with a Delayed Reaction Device (haha)... bloody almost scalded myself because the cold water takes a few seconds to react and by the time you find out its too cold, it takes another few seconds to get hot again. The pipes are too long i guess.

Met up with Kevin for a second evening in a row, that's an achievement since most people i meet change their handphone numbers after our first meeting, haha.... kidding lah :P Managed to get his mp3 cable from my friend, silly boy threw his cable away during his spring cleaning and have been complaining about his world of silence. Met his Da Jie as well, found him a bit on the quiet side though. Sent both of them home while enjoying the conversation we had. For the second night in a row, Kevin dropped something in the car... hmmm.... must be his ploy for us to meet again... haha. The previous night was his mobile, which i fortunately saw before he walked away, last night was his lighter which was too dark to see. tsk tsk, so careless :P

Jiao Ni

OK, this one's dedicated to Kevin especially since he said he can't wait for it :)

Death of a Diet

Day 4 of my post diet diet and i can safely call the pastor to perform the funeral rites... no 3 words can describe my predicament better... sinful sinful sinful.

Here's the scoop, yesterday (monday) i followed my working day's diet until dinner time. Throughout the day, i was quite hungry, the meals i had did not maintain me till the next small meal so i snacked on low fat rice cakes in between. Met the gang for dinner last night, bought fish head curry and a few dishes from Ocean Curry in Toa Payoh. Ate too much, fell asleep while watching Hairy Potter dvd.

Today i claimed my day off for working over saturday night. Went to see the doctor to have a look at the numbness in my foot, and since it was time for a small meal, decided to go to the hawker centre (haha, big mistake). Had my first mee pok in probably 4 to 5 months, wah, blissful siaz. Had a char siew pao for snack, steak for dinner, and ice cream for supper. Aiyah, it feels so wrong but so what, i think i deserve a break once in a while. OK, no more cheating..... this week :P

Helped Kastaway with his PC problem this afternoon... ok, maybe not, because after what we went thru, the problem still persists... this despite consulting my technical experts from the office. Oh well, the mystery continues. Met Kevin for coffee... er.... for ice cream in the evening, did not expect him to be so tall despite the fact that he already told me his height previously. I think he looks cuter in person than in his pictures. Oh, saw his best str8 friend, Matt, also cuter in person than in the photos... haha. Had a good time chatting with him. He may be planning a karaoke session with his sistas and Kastaway to have a friendly competition... maybe they will call it AJ Idol.

At the coffee club, my seat was back to back with this disgusting guy with long hair, his hair kept brushing my back and shoulders *shudders*. When i leaned back slightly, i kept leaning into his back, just felt so uncomfortable and claustrophobic. Found out later it was actually Chen Hanwei, *pui pui pui*.... *burn clothes and go for skin graft operation*

Wo He Ni Part 3