Target is Down, Over & Out

Target is down, and I feel….relieved….liberated….apprehensive….disappointed…. no, I think I feel confused.

Don’t want to go into that much details because it ain’t worth the trouble, but 2 incidents led me to erase target out of my life, firstly, she pulled out of going for dinner without giving any reason nor apologizing for it, and secondly, she has ignored responding to my email for a week. I just don’t have a good feeling on where such a relationship will head.

Furthermore, I think I am not ready to enter a relationship now. Target entered the picture at an inopportune time, when I was just about to start a diet which makes social engagements a big headache. She and her best friend did comment that I looked fine as I was, but I guess that was their opinion and I felt differently. The motivation behind my diet is also questionable, am I doing it because I seek to find my perfect partner or am I doing it to have some fun before I settle down.

Saw a quarrelling couple at the gym yesterday, geez…they were starting to raise their voices and the gym was quite packed, I don’t know but I can’t do that in public. Anyway, a lot of people were starting to stare at them but I could tell that the woman was a bitch. Not to say the guy was not at fault (I did not hear what the fight was about), but the girl had that type of rebellious personality. Anyway, hope they had sex and made up already ;p

Kind of happy with how my chest is developing (or should I say un-developing). I would not say I got man-boobs but I have more fat there than I want. Slowly but surely I can see the fat starting to disappear. Still got a long way to go though.

Soon, I think I will post my before and after pics… I took naked (non-erotic) photos of myself before, during and after diet1, and also before I started the current diet. Comparing the earlier pics, I’m quite surprised and pleased with how far I have progressed. Yeah, after this current diet, you may get to see the me in February and the me now.

Talking about dieting, I slipped into a craving mode the past couple of weeks, I craved for prata, char kueh, cakes etc, which was a sure sign that my diet is at the tail end already. But cheating really helps reduce some of those cravings so my only worry now is that the diet drags on for too long. Oh….on a 3-day course next week, craps, forgotten about that…I’ll have to come off the diet during those 3 days because finding low carb food for morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea sounds too damn daunting a task. Also, my Ah Du/Du De Wei colleague’s wedding is later this month, hmmm, since I’m helping out that day I may target my diet to end before then.

Ok, you’re wondering why, despite my bitching about him, am I still helping out at his wedding. I still treat him as a friend, and he hardly has any friends, come to think of it, I have never in the 4 years I’ve known him, met any of his other friends because I suspect he don’t got any.